Kirsty Greenwood

Six Months Ago...

In July 2012 I nervously pressed the KDP 'publish' button and worried about what would happen. Would people like my beloved novel?  Would they cry "Ebook Imposter!" and throw hardbacks at my head? Was I ruining any chance of ever getting a traditional book deal?

Six months later and Yours Truly has been in and out of the top 20 charts, is currently number one in both the Humour and Women's Fiction categories and is not long off from selling its 50,000th copy. And my head has not had a single hardback flung at it. Not yet, at least.

It's a scary old thing putting your work out there into the world and then asking people to pay money for it, especially without the endorsement of a traditional publishing team. But I'm so glad I did.  Releasing Yours Truly has changed my life. I know it sounds a bit Reality TV Show saying it like that. But it's true.

I've become fully self employed; an ambition of my entire adult life. I've been able to fund a start up company which will launch later this year - something that terrifies me but I suspect will bring a great deal of joy and excitement. I've found a new passion and new friends. My love for books, writing and the publishing industry has grown even stronger. And I've been read. I've been read by quite a lot of people. That feels pretty darn ace, yo.

Yours Truly will be left to its own devices now. It's a brand new year, I'm writing my next book (the first in a series) and preparing the business launch, so won't have the time to actively promote it.

Please forgive me the indulgence of this post, but before the next stage of my career begins it's important for me to say thank you to those who made this one so brilliant.

I'm incredibly lucky to have received the support and encouragement I have.  So, thank you to the talented bloggers and reviewers who have given me a spot on their fantastic websites. I KNOW how many requests you guys get and I'm grateful for all of the precious promo space you've given me. Everyone online who retweeted and shared my posts and still wanted to be my friend despite the occasional trumpeting - thank you, thank you, #THANKSFORTHERTS. To those people who took the time to tell me what they thought of the book, recommend it to friends and put a review on Amazon - thank you. To the authors who endorsed me and trusted me with their fan base - I'm so grateful to you.  My family and friends, my literary agent and my readers - thank you.

Thank you for making this past six months some of the most exhilarating I've ever experienced. 

I was reading my journal (yes, I keep a nerdy journal) from last year and in January it said something like:

 "Had weetabix for breakfast. Career flaky. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?"

This experience has made me certain about what I'm supposed to do now.  And I cannot bloody wait to get on with it.

Fa la la la la....la la la la

Just wrapping the last of my presents and thought I'd bob on to say HAPPY HOLIDAYS! to all of you lovely lot. I'll be doing a proper new year post next week, but for now I just want to say thank you so much for all of your support with YOURS TRULY this year. It has meant the absolute world to me.

Love,

Kirsty

A Message from Ryan Gosling

The Next Big Thing!

The lovely Carole Matthews (Yes the famous author Carole Matthews. I know.) tagged me in a meme called The Next Big Thing a couple of weeks ago. Here I am to answer the questions that Carole answered in her post and to tag some writers who I think are fabulous and you should watch out for... 

• What is the title of your next book?

I'm going to tell you about my current book and it's called Yours Truly.

• Where did the idea come from for the book?

 I was thinking about how often I omit the truth when I don't want to hurt someones feelings and how grateful I was that that some of the thoughts that popped into my head were privately tucked away never to see the light of day. Then I imagined what would happen to someone who didn't have the power to keep those thoughts inside and the trouble that would cause! And that's where the idea of Natalie Butterworth came from.

• What genre does your book fall under?

Comedy romance, chick lit, comedy, women's fiction. A cosy book.

• What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a film version?

Oooh. Okay. If you'd have asked me last year I'd have said Zooey Deschanel for Natalie, but now her persona is so developed I can't imagine her playing anything other than a version of herself. So I'm going to say a young Maggie Gyllenhall, Carey Mulligan or Lena Dunham. For Riley it would be...Gabriel Macht (here's a photo. It's not a problem.), for Dionne someone like Jennifer Ellison or a blonde Michelle Keegan and for Amazing Brian, Jim Broadbent.

• What is the one sentence synopsis of your book?

Conflict avoiding girl is hypnotised into always telling the truth,

UPDATE - AUGUST 2012

I've been lucky enough to get some amazing online reviews in the month since Yours Truly has launched. Here are some excerpts...

"This novel is absolutely hilarious. I laughed so hard I cried, I giggled throughout and I couldn't help but smile at Natalie's adventures and got more than one 'who's the nutter?' glance on the subway as I tried to control my laughter. I'm fairly certain Yours Truly is the funniest book I've ever read. Period."

NovelEscapes.com

"Yours Truly is light, fun and bubbly  - with a massive heart. Not only did I laugh throughout, but I also shed a tear… or two."

Giovanna Fletcher

"Kirsty Greenwood could totally be the next big Chick Lit star...written one of my favourite books this year. I really, truly loved it."

Chick Lit Reviews and News

"Yours Truly by Kirsty Greenwood is a fun, hilarious adventure that will have you laughing - rather embarrassingly - in public on numerous occasions. Natalie is a great central character and seeing her get in touch with her own hidden honesty is endearing, awkward and brilliantly funny."

Film vs Book

"Yours Truly is my perfect kind of chick lit; funny, lighthearted and with a bit of romance sprinkled on top (and not a designer shoe or handbag in sight). It was an absolute pleasure to read."

 Mama J Hearts Chick Lit

"There were moments in the book that I literally laughed out loud. It was very witty and zipped along at a cracking pace with no sagging in the middle. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and look forward to reading what Kirsty will write next. Truly."

Sharon Writes

"It's a book about lies, truth and becoming yourself, and I really did love it - I'll be looking out for future books from Kirsty, and I'm sure you'll all love it too."

Chick Lit Chloe

"This book will have you laughing at the witty one liners which come more frequent than watching Peter Kay live at Blackpool Tower.
This really is a laugh out loud, feel good book and I TRULY believe that Kirsty Greenwood is an author to watch out for."

I Heart Books

"Ms. Greenwood’s amazingly-funny wit that takes the story to another level. In that regard, she’s similar to Sophie Kinsella, if Sophie had one too many glasses of Chardonnay and decided to substitute the f-bomb with “pickle” (which made me laugh EVERY time, by the way). And once I hit that fifth chapter, I couldn’t put it down. Except to grab a tissue to wipe the tears of laughter from my face."

 Well Shut The Front Door

This is my book YOURS TRULY  (UK LINK/USA LINK) and it will be released on the 4th July. You can scroll down to read my most recent blog entries!

Love Kirsty x

 

 

Nosy Josie

Up until the age of fifteen I lived on an amazing street. It was a huge figure eight-shaped avenue (in the middle of which was a small field covered in daisies) inhabited by young families and a ton of other kids (half of my schoolmates lived on the avenue). It was a vibrant, sunny council estate -someone was always having a jumble sale outside their front door, selling home-made perfume or having a game of polio or rounders on the front. If my memory serves me correctly (perhaps it's a little rose-tinted) the ice cream van came round EVERY day.

Behind our house was another street. We called it 'The Backins'. This street was a quiet cul-de-sac, a little bit posher, and populated mostly by older people. The backins was pretty non-descript,  apart from the fact that it had a short but steep slope in the road. A little concrete hill.

Believe me, when you're a kid without internet and computer games and are forced outside to play while your mum cooks potato hash, an actual hill right on your  back doorstep is a very exciting prospect indeed. All the things you could do with a short, steep hill! You could dance on it (if you've never danced on an short, steep hill, I feel bad for you), ride your bike down it (hands or no hands, or one handed, the options were endless), sit on it and peer down onto the road below imagining that you were queen of all you surveyed... but best of all,  you could rollerskate down it. Rollerskating down the hill was the 90s kids equivalent of, I don't know, dance party wii or going to a Bieber concert. It was mildly dangerous and hugely exciting. 

So my sisters and I spent a LOT of time rollerskating down that hill. We'd roll down while wiggling our hips or throwing our hands in the air as if we were ice skaters and then we'd use the stoppers like ballet dancers en pointe to get back to the top of the hill, ready to roll down once more.And then again.

But all good things must come to an end. And our rollerskating era was cut off before it really even got going.  The reason? A nosy old woman called Josie.

Josie was about 60 at the time, with white curly hair and glasses with sun-reactive lenses. She had a permanant grimace on her face and a dazzling array of sickly sweet floral dresses that did nothing to offset the child hatred emanating off her in waves. She earned the moniker Nosy Josie by constantly sitting in her front yard, keeping an eye on everything, staring out of her window, checking whose grass had grown half an inch longer than she found acceptable and whose nets needed a wash.

To be fair, we did roll past her window about 50 times an hour while she was trying to watch Going for Gold or stir her couldron. When she could stand it no longer she came out to shout at us.

It was so long ago that the memories are a bit blurry, but I specifically remember that she didn't just tell us off for rollerskating past her house. Her issue was that she didn't want 'council estate kids' playing near her house and she'd growl (at kids between the ages of 10-14) that she didn't want 'the likes of us' anywhere near her. She threatened to call the police so that they would take us back to where we came from. She was a mean old snob, and everyone knew it.

My younger sister and I were mortally offended by Josie's reign over the backins and spent a large amount of time concocting a revenge plan. After much discussion, we finally had it, the idea, the very thing that would put Nosy Josie back in her place.

A song!

Oh yes.  We would write and perform a song about Nosy Josie. There would be a dance too. A song and a dance to really put Josie in her place.

For reasons unknown we decided to write our song to the melody of Greased Lightening from Grease.

Here are the lyrics to our song...

Nosy Josie, lookin' out her window again

(Nosy Josie, Nosy, Nosy Josie)

Nosy Josie's pushing up her glasses again

(Nosy Josie, Nosy, Nosy Josie)

Open the door, call the police

Well they can come, so KISS MY BUM

Nosy Josieeeeee

(Nosy, Nosy Nosy Nosy)

We practised and performed it quietly on the bollards by Josie's house. I don't think she heard us.

I was telling Edd about Josie the other day. I told him how mean and nosy and snobby she was and how she was always in her front yard snarling at any children that happened to pass by. I told him that long after our family had moved out, Josie had had a fence built to seperate the council avenue from her road. He thought that perhaps we had over villified Josie and she can't have been THAT bad or THAT nosy (and he was probably right). I went on Google Earth to show him the fence she built. And what should I find, twenty + years later...

We had a laugh about that one!

18 Months Later...

I'm having a spring clean in here!  Exciting things are afoot and I want it to look all sparkly and clean and pretty for any new visitors that might swing by.

In the meantime here is one of my favourite photographs ever - it's my other half and our dog having fun on my birthday picnic. It was such a good day (until we were attacked by horses - I'll tell you the full story soon) and every time I look at it I feel happy.

 

 

I Miss You, Music.

Below are two songs I wrote and sang while at college. The first is a little bit down-hearted, but pretty, I think. The second is a bit brighter! (It says download, but it just directs you to another blog page)

Ooh, also you should know that these recordings are like, five years old!
 

xx

Download 267-Grey Skies

 Download 266-Bring Me Yesterday 

Mrs Kirsty Chow

A few days ago I got a spam mail from a Mr Chow. I thought I’d reply. Below is the original email and my response

FROM: HCHOW***@*******.COM

TO: KIRSTY@NOVELICIOUS.COM

"Dear friend
i am writing you because it is good to make friends and to keep relationship, i got your contact from well i am looking for to make friends all over the world and if possible can have marriage with you, you are beauty like the sun and love your personalities so please i will like you to write me back with this email address so... that we will know each other, i will be waiting for your responds, thanks H."

FROM: KIRSTY@NOVELICIOUS.COM

TO: HCHOW***@*******.COM

Dear Mr Chow,

Thanks ever so much for your email. I was having a rubbish day when it pinged through and your kind words made me smile.

You say you got my contact from well. Who is well? Or did you mean a well? Either way, I’m glad you found me.

 I must admit that I was a little surprised at your proposition of having marriage with me. Most men I have known are commitment shy to say the least. For example, I have been with my boyfriend for TEN years and still no sign of a proposal! Well, you showed him, didn’t you, Mr H Chow? You just marched right in, via electronic mail, and asked straight out for a lifetime of devotion. No game playing, no fear. A man who takes control. I respect that.

  In the absence of any other offers my answer is yes. A million times yes.

I’m glad you have noticed my resemblance to the sun. I notice it too. I am almost completely spherical (though obvs I will diet before the wedding – nobody likes a flabby bride) and sometimes, in artificial lights, I have a yellowish hue to my skin. I don’t think it’s jaundice. Also, I am properly hot. Temparature wise, I mean. It’s a glandular thing.

 Which giant star are you most similar to?

I’m so pleased that you love my personalities. The personality that comes around once a month can be a bit of a handful. Only last week she arrived for a visit and spent a whole day crying because the milk was so far past its sell buy date that it plopped into her cup of tea rather than poured. That personality is full of the rage and generally not very nice to be around. You can imagine my delight at finding someone who can not only put up with that part of me, but actually loves it. Thank you for that.

What are your personalities like? How many do you have?

I get the feeling that you don’t reside in England. I am happy to come to your country for our nuptials. I could bring my family! You wouldn’t mind putting tham up would you? Though, I must tell you that my auntie June has terrible nasal issues, so if you could pick her up a hypo-allergenic pillow then that would be just brilliant.

What does the H in your name stand for? Is it Harry Chow? Or Hank Chow? Or Husband Chow? I am desperate to find out.

I look forward to your reply. I have just changed my facebook relationship status to engaged. Make sure you do it too. We should probably add each other, actually.

Kind Regards,

Kirsty xxxx

P.S Do you like watching Grey's Anatomy? I was thinking we could start watching it together from now on

 

 

 

 

 

 

Waffle of the Month

I told myself I would blog again here within a month of my last post. Almost! Better than my usual attempts anyhoo. Must try harder.

So! I had me birthday - it was lovely. The pic is of my kitchen and the lovely flowers I got from my little sister. In the background you can see the mahoosive teapot, and teapot cover I got from my older sister - pretty, no? I got lots of wonderful gifts and spent the afternoon serving up tea and cakes - twas brill!

I've gotten so used to blogging for a particular audience and am finding hard to fully focus on one topic for personal blogging, so please, readers (both of you), forgive the waffling. Here is a mash up of my current thoughts about stuff (it's off the cuff, so probably won't make any sense.) Nevermind...

Writing -

I cannot believe how hard it is. Wonderful and exilharating, of course, but bloody hard work. I'm trying to get my book finished and it's going well. But for me, it's not just a matter of banging the words out. While I'm writing, the need to scheme and plot and think about the bits I haven't written yet is so strong. Sometimes it feels like my head is going to explode! It also makes me realise that when I talk to an author and say "Oh your book was so fab, I finished it in one night!" it probably really pisses them off. I mean, it's a lovely thing to say and it shows just how much of a pageturner the book was. But some of them must think - "One frickin night?! That took me a YEAR to write!". I wonder...

Book Blogging

I love writing Novelicious. I do. It's not the biggest or the slickest site on the web. But visits are steadily increasing, and the followers we have are incredibly loyal. I'm very proud of the site, and I have such a fabulous team surrounding me, who all help to make it as popular as it is. Plus it's lots of fun, and we get free books!

There have been some ups and downs in the Novelicious journey; It's hard to get through all the books that are sent to us, there is a heck of a lot of admin involved, and the whole scene can get a little beetchy. EXAMPLE - there's a number of sites out there who cover the same genre as Novelicious does. Most of us are supportive and get on well. One site in particular can be a bit tough to deal with. It may be because they're young, but after sending them a polite email about some content they had pretty much ripped off from our site, they replied in bad form and geared up for an argument. They then proceeded to post about the email convo on their blog! So unprofessional. That happened a while ago and I'm over it now. But taking someone's ideas and passing off a thinly veiled copy with no credit is just plain bad manners. I hope it doesn't happen again, as I'm not sure how polite I could be a second time around.

Crushes

I love getting crushes. I'm in a wonderful, forever relationship and have been for many years, but there is nowt better than a good old crush. I'm not really the type to crush on celebrities (bar Hugh Laurie and Jared Leto), my crushes have always been on people who I have known in real life. Some of them turned into relationships ( I still have a crush on my boyfriend!) and a few of them linger in the recesses of my mind. There's one particular crush I've been thinking about recently. Someone who never knew (and will never know) how I felt about them. He was quite a bit older than me and married (still is) which is obviouslah a no go, but still, sometimes (though I haven't seen him for a few years) I get the urge to tell him stuff, to want to know how he is, to tell him that he is gorgeous and talented, should stop being so self deprecating. Perhaps the continuing crush is down to the fact that it began at a time when I was enjoying life a lot. Perhaps it's just leftover nostalgia. I'm not sure if he ever suspected how I felt. I stared at him a lot, so he might have done! Did you (both of you!!) ever have a crush? Do you still get them? It seems a bit silly at my age, but I quite enjoy it.

The Election.

I'm voting Labour. I did dabble with the idea of going for Lib Dem, but I want to keep the Tories out, so am possibly doing the tactical thing.I don't particulary think Gordon Brown is a good leader, but I cannot deny that my thoughts about how the country should be run lie most firmly with the policies of the Labour party. Who are you voting for (both of you!!)?

Personal Blogging.

Well, I think that in the course of this post we have established that I'm shit at personal blogging. Luckily, it's not really 'out there' so it's nice to have a bit of a rant and a sound off. I might do it again soon. But probs won't!

Wish me luck with the fiction!

K xx